Judge: I see a Domestic Violence designation on this assault. What is your relationship to this man?

Defendant: Your Honor, he’s my best friend. I love him so much. The only reason I ever even tried going to rehab is because of him. He pushed me to it and he helped me. He’s always helped me.

Prosecutor: Yes, Your Honor, I can confirm that we have designated this assault as Domestic Violence as the parties have lived together and are in a relationship. We are asking for 60 days based on the priors.

Defense Attorney: Your Honor, this is an agreed recommendation on everything except the jail time. And the reason for that is, that in this city, the standard for what constitutes assault is set so low, I mean, if you can even call this assault –

Prosecutor: Yes, we can call it assault and the defendant is here to plead guilty today. We are not disputing the facts. He is admitting guilt. There is no motion before the court to argue that the statute is unconstitutionally broad or over-reaching. The defendant has two prior convictions for assault involving the same victim, and three Violation of a No-Contact Orders this year alone. This crime victim may be, as the defendant claims, his best friend, but with all due respect I doubt very much that the defendant is the crime victim’s best friend. We believe that the best chance this defendant can have of becoming a friend is to spend his jail time, hopefully arrange for in-patient dual diagnosis treatment directly from jail, and get himself into a position where he might actually earn the friendship, trust and respect of his partner, his family, and himself. This takes time, and it is in the interest of public safety and this defendant that we ask for the 60 day sentence. Any less time brings us back to the revolving door.

Judge: Anything further from either party? No? Then this court will impose 60 days, followed by 2 years jurisdiction, the remainder of the 364 days to be suspended upon condition of No New Criminal Law Violations, follow the No-Contact Order, appear at all hearings, notify the court of any change of address within 24 hours, attend all probation appointments, pay any fines and restitution to be determined, follow the treatment recommendations including in-patient treatment…… and best of luck.