EXCUSES FOR SOLICITING A PROSTITUTE

I was driving along smoking and suddenly the lit cigarette fell between the driver’s seat and the truck door right onto the carpet!  I couldn’t just drive and have it catch fire so I just innocently pulled over to a parking lot. I found the cigarette and put it out.  I didn’t know it was a prostitution area, so when a woman came up to my window, well naturally I just wondered what she wanted.  Well, when she asked me if I wanted sex for money, I didn’t know what to say!  I was raised to be polite to ladies, and I thought it would be rude to just say no.  That might hurt her feelings.  So instead, I decided to just tell a white lie.  That’s why when she asked for 50, I told her I only had 35.  I was trying to be polite.  When I tried to tell the cop he just laughed at me. But I was really just trying to be a gentleman. I’ve never turned down a lady.  That would be rude.

I was at a store and this gal came up to my car and started talking to me.  I thought she looked kind of familiar so I figured oh, she must the new girlfriend of my friend that was with him at that party I was at.  So when she said, how about sex and can you pay forty, I jokingly – and of course it was just a joke – I thought SHE was joking so I was joking back at her! – I said, can I pay half that because I come really fast.  It will just take a minute.  Well (smile) I mean, I’m a young and healthy guy in my prime.  You can SEE I was joking, right?  I mean, come on, you know what I mean, huh?  I wouldn’t get a half-price kind of deal!  Not that I have to pay for it.  But you know what I mean.  I was just joking around with the lady I thought I had met at a party.  And then for no reason I just got arrested.  It was a big huge misunderstanding!

I was going to get my car tabs renewed and this lady ran up to my window and asked if I wanted sex.  Well, I wasn’t thinking about it, I was just minding my business.  But she was so pretty!  And I think it isn’t fair that you use such pretty women cops to pretend to be prostitutes.  I wouldn’t have agreed to sex for money if she hadn’t come up to the window looking like that.  I wasn’t even thinking about it.  Isn’t that entrapment, or something?  I mean, I wasn’t soliciting her; she was soliciting me.

I cannot believe I got arrested!  I was just going into a store and I saw a woman crying and in distress and I thought, well, poor thing, she must be in trouble.  Maybe she is on drugs, maybe her boyfriend kicked her out, but I’ll bet she needs a place to stay tonight.  This is an emergency!  So that’s why I went up to her and told her why doesn’t she come home with me and spend the night, and when she then offered sex and named a price, I suddenly got arrested for no reason.  I was just trying to help her out!  If you could have seen her, you would have wanted to take her home, well I mean.. you know.

I saw a gal outside the gas station and she was so cute.  I was just trying to make conversation but you know English is not my first language.  So I was trying to flirt and I said something like you must get a lot of dates, do you want a date, and then suddenly I got arrested.  What is in the police report?  Is that was it says?  Oh, fucking?  She said I was asking about  how much for fucking?  No, I don’t think so.  That must be a mistake.  I might have said how much, but I don’t think I said fucking.  I wouldn’t have said that.