I’m so mad about the counselor the school sent her to. I know they meant to help, but I don’t need someone confusing my girl by telling her she has to forgive the man who hurt her, or she will not be forgiven for her sins. Come on, what are HER sins? She’s a child, for heaven’s sake! It’s ridiculous and it really makes me mad. He’s just adding to her trauma, making it her fault. So we’re looking for another counselor.
I told my girl, I said, look, honey. Listen to your mother. You have zero obligation – exactly none at all – to forgive him. You don’t have to love him. You don’t have to wish him well. You don’t have to worry about him, or think about him at all. He could be dead in a ditch, for all we care, and that is not your problem. It’s not your job to make him okay. You don’t have to forgive him or ask God to forgive him.
Your job is to be okay. That’s all. Just to heal yourself.
Do your best to not dwell on it. I told her. Try not to give it more time. I know it’s hard, but try to live for today. You’re in a good place now. You’re safe. So keep walking away from it. Every time it comes to mind, throw it far from you. Every time he comes to mind, throw him back into God’s hands. Let God deal with him. Do this just for you – for your own sake, not to help anybody.
You don’t have to wish him well, you don’t have to wish him evil, you don’t have to spend one more minute thinking about him. You were brave, and you asked for help. Nobody can hurt you like that again. So now try and let this go, so you can be free. Because I know what I am talking about, I lived it myself – if you don’t let go of it, it won’t let go of you. And I don’t want that for you. I don’t want you to be tied to this for years. I want you to be free. Safe and free.