READY TO QUIT

I was ready to quit.  I really was.  I didn’t care if they had all those cameras and wanted to watch my every move.  I wasn’t doing anything wrong, so I really didn’t care about that.  But to call me to the mat every afternoon, to make it like a ritual to scold me and correct me, that was not okay.  Because these young parents had nothing to teach me about parenting.  I am just saying.  They had no clue.  They were more helpless than their baby.  About parenting.

So I told them one Friday, when they sat me down after work to tell me that according to the video it had taken me two minutes to get to their crying baby in the crib that afternoon, I said look, we need to part ways.  I respect others so that I may be respected, but you do not respect me.  You tell me I didn’t run to your baby when he first opened his mouth.  But there are good reasons for that.  Why don’t you ask me?  I could tell you if you want to know.

Guess what?  I am teaching the baby how to self-soothe.  I am teaching him patience.  I am teaching him tolerance.  I am teaching him to be a little uncomfortable, even for three minutes, so that someone else can do what they need to do.  As you could see in your video, I was going to the bathroom, and in case you don’t have a camera in the actual bathroom, I told them, I was washing my hands, too.  If you want to know what I am doing, ask me.  If you want to know why, ask me.

But I told them, I really did.  I told this young couple.  You hired me because I am a mother.  I have two teens.  They are both doing fine.  They are good people.  So if you want me to use my knowledge, my wisdom, my experience, you have to quit telling me exactly how to take care of your kids.  Or we can part ways, and no hard feelings.  Keep the cameras on, if you like.  I don’t care.  But I will not be scolded and shamed for doing what I know is right.  Your kids don’t need instant service.  They don’t need instant gratification.  I am not here to spoil your children.  I am here to help them have a good life.  I am helping to make them into decent adults.

And I know a lot of people with a lot of money want the servants to spoil the children, but hey, now!  I am not a servant.  I am a mother, and I am giving you the benefit of my experience.  I will not help you raise two selfish, self-centered, demanding and unhappy people.  You can do that without me.  If you want them to feel entitled and look down on people on me, and not want me to even go to the bathroom because they want me right now, then you don’t need my help.  And I am not going to help you.  Because I would be hurting them, as people.  Can you understand me?

But, I said to them, and believe me, their jaws were hanging open, if you want me to help you raise decent, hard-working, and thoughtful people, I can do that.  I already have accomplished that, both at home and at my other jobs.  I can do that without even trying.  It is easy for me.  I can do it in my sleep.  I can do it and even have time to go to the bathroom and wash my hands.  So you let me know by Monday, and if I don’t hear from you, then no hard feelings.  And I left.  I just walked out and didn’t say another word.

What happened?  Oh, they called me.  They called me.  The guy ended up saying he had never been so shocked in his life.  That he never thought I – well, what he really meant is that he never thought I was so smart, but you know rich people.  They just don’t think.  They don’t know how to talk to people.  So I forgave him for talking to me that way.  He never learned any better.  And to be fair, he  didn’t have me or anyone like me to raise him.  Poor little guy.

Now I’ve been with them two more years.  And his kids will be better off, I know that much.  And now he says he’s going to help my kids pay for college, so maybe what goes around will finally come around.  If not, I am still going to do what I know is right.  And I am honestly glad that I am not rich. Because no matter how much they demand and scold and bluster, I can see how scared they are.  How much they worry about every little thing.  It must be hard to feel that entitled and that vulnerable and puny, all at the same time.  Their kids will have money, but hopefully they will be better people.  And someday I will tell them, how I almost quit.  And we can laugh together, God willing.  Because they will know I am their equal.